Social Media and Relationships

In the past, most relationships were formed in, through verbal and non-verbal cues. Today, electronic devices with internet access allow individuals to develop relationships online, often without the traditional, non-verbal cues that face- to-face communication would deliver.

Electronic communication includes online social networking sites, texting, emailing, instant messaging and video calls. Social media platforms are a popular form of electronic communication as they allow individuals to access other members’ profiles and interact with them privately and publicly. Individuals who may struggle in a face-to-face setting can feel more comfortable interacting and developing new relationships online. Social networking also enables long- distance relationships and connections with like- minded people, that would otherwise be difficult to make. Many people use these sites to post about their personal life and opinions, to receive feedback, or to be reassured.

In this online environment, romantic relationships are based on new components of love. For example, public displays of affection are no longer limited to holding hands and hugging, it includes the public display of commitment, which involves ‘liking’ and ‘sharing’ posts and updates on social networking sites. These online actions advertise the relationship to others and provide security to the couple.

According to the social penetration theory, individuals develop relationships in four stages: orientation, exploratory affective exchange, affective exchange, and stable exchange. During the orientation stage, individuals reveal basic information about themselves to others. Social networking sites facilitate this process by allowing individuals to self-disclose information and create a first impression. Self-disclosure refers to the process of intentionally sharing personal information with others. Self-disclosure fosters trust, intimacy, and commitment in a relationship. Exploratory affective exchange is the stage where individuals’ personalities are revealed, and they become more comfortable with each other. During this phase, individuals’ behaviour can create tension in the relationship and cause the relationship to end. Affective exchange is where deeper and intimate feelings are developed. Couples feel comfortable sharing more personal information and showing their true selves and the relationship can be officially announced on a social networking site. This is particularly important because it is a declaration to friends and family of their commitment. Stable exchange is the phase where couples are brutally honest with each other. Intimacy is fundamental in this stage, and it is defined by the quality and frequency of interactions.

Individuals can use social networking sites to observe their current or potential partner’s online behaviour. This contemporary online surveillance can have a negative impact on the relationship, as an insecure individual may experience anxiety, mistrust, or jealousy because of their partners’ online behaviour. Therefore, the constant flow andaccess to information in these online environments can impact the progression of a relationship through social penetration theory. This results in is a growing dependency on social networking sites to validate self-worth, relationships and provide a sense of belonging.

Adapted from: Farrugia, R.C. (2013). Facebook and Relationships: A Study of How Social Media Use is Affecting Long- Term Relationships. Thesis. Rochester Institute of Technology.

1. Describe how relationship forming has changed with the use of technology.
2. Identify the stages of relationship formation.
3. Compare the positive and negative impacts of social networking on relationships.

•  relationships
• verbal
• non-verbal cues
• communication
• feedback
• reassured
• commitment
• social penetration theory
• orientation
• exploratory affective exchange
• affective exchange
• stable exchange
• self-disclosure
• trust
•  intimacy
• commitment
• personalities
• behaviour
• quality
• frequency
• anxiety
• mistrust
•  jealousy